


Transformation

by hey_honey



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Has Issues, Bottom Ben Solo, Breaking Up & Making Up, Denial of Feelings, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Flashbacks, Implied Sexual Content, Lawyer Armitage Hux, M/M, Post-Break Up, Southern AU, Submissive Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:14:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hey_honey/pseuds/hey_honey
Summary: “Have you talked to him at all?” Luke asked, and Hux stared into his coffee. If he really focused, he could almost smell the bar soap Ben always used, the warmth of his skin as he sat as close to Hux on the neighboring barstool as possible. He could imagine hearing laughter—quiet, hushed, teasing laughter—as he whispered something inappropriate to him in his ear, dark hair tickling Hux’s cheeks as he leaned in."No," he said. "Not yet."An Southern AU in which Hux returns from London to sell his childhood home and must say his final goodbyes to the family he left behind.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Transformation

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! My partner and I just bought a plantation in the Southern US, and as we started to remodel the place, this idea sprung into being. I've really enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading it!
> 
> Unlike my usual style, the sexual content in this is rather mild, but I've rated it explicitly just to be safe. My aim with *all* my stories to create multidimensional, complex characterization. No one is perfect, and everyone will make some kind of mistake. So keep that in mind!
> 
> Flashbacks are written in italics.
> 
> Enjoy reading! xx

Maybe it was the perpetual heat that clung to Hux’s skin from an eternal sun beating against his pale skin without relief. Or maybe it was the cheery Southern greetings he received his entire walk from the car down the cement pavement towards Luke’s Café. He entered and watched as the man behind the café froze, mid-pour.

“Armie Hux, well I never,” Luke Skywalker said with a wide smile, gesturing the tall redhead closer. “It’s been what, four years?”

“Six actually,” Hux said with a tight smile, sitting on the barstool he was offered and accepting the wide, chunky mug of Luke’s signature roast gratefully. This was one of the few places in town that he actually had missed. “You look good,” he said, surprising himself when he realized how genuine the words were. Luke smiled and shrugged.

“I’ve been busy, between the café and helping with Han’s business,” Luke said with a shrug, and Hux laughed as he sipped the black roast absentmindedly. Luke had loved his half-sister’s husband his entire life, hiding his emotions with the kind of silent strength Hux had never known possible in another person. But a result of that love meant that Luke would do _anything_ for Han—anything.

“Why are you back in town?” asked Luke, and Hux met his bright blue gaze easily.

“My mother passed away a week ago,” he said quietly, and he watched the surprise flicker across Luke’s face. “She’d hated that nursing home in Charleston, so I think she willed herself to go, honestly,” he said, finding a bubble of laughter ready to escape at the back of his throat for the first time since he’d heard the news. He let it escape, relieved at the emotion after the heavy cloak of sadness that had kept him captive for what felt like a lifetime. “Anyway, she left me the house, so I came down to clear it out before I sell it.”

“You’re selling that masterpiece?” Luke asked, surprised, and Hux nodded.

“It’s a disaster, Luke, and the amount of time, resources, _money_ needed to fix it up again? I don’t have the time,” he said, feeling apologetic somehow, and Luke nodded, breaking eye contact to wipe the counters when the customer two seats down from Hux got up and left with a last wave.

“Well, if you need help, I know Rey is looking for something to keep her busy this summer,” Luke said, looking over at Hux with a smile. “Not to mention, she’ll be glad to see you again.”

Luke always got a certain look in his eyes when he talked about his foster daughter, Rey, who was starting her first semester of college in the autumn. Hux had always admired the petite brunette, who had a fierceness and loyalty about her. If she was the sun, Luke was her faithful orbiting planet.

“I missed her too,” Hux said. “I’m sure she took that run-down high school by storm,” he teased, a smile cutting across his angular face, and Luke nodded with a chuckle.

“They had no idea what they were in for…she’s valedictorian,” he said, chest seeming ready to burst with pride.

“Good for her,” Hux murmured. An easy silence settled before Luke sighed heavily and placed two hands flat against the counter across from Hux.

“Have you talked to him at all?” he asked, and Hux stared into his coffee. If he really focused, he could almost smell the bar soap he always used, the warmth of his skin as he sat as close to Hux on the neighboring barstool as possible. He could imagine hearing laughter—quiet, hushed, teasing laughter—as he whispered something inappropriate to him in his ear, dark hair tickling Hux’s cheeks as he leaned in.

Hux risked a glance to his left, just to remind himself that he wasn’t here, that his imagination was just _that_ good.

“No, I haven’t talked to him,” he said. “I tried, back when I first left. But he wasn’t interested, so I took the hint.”

“I’m sure he already knows you’re here,” Luke said, keeping his voice purposefully light. “You know how a town this small works,” he teased, and Hux forced a laugh.

“Yeah,” he drained his mug and stood, throwing a few bills on the table, but Luke’s offended look made him shove the crumpled bills back in his wallet. “I’m driving up to the house. Thanks for the coffee, Luke.”

“Don’t be a stranger, Hux. Six years was six years too long,” Luke said with mock-sternness, and Hux laughed as he walked out, waving over his shoulder.

The drive out of town along a dirty, bumpy road to his mother’s family home was a relaxing one, more muscle memory than anything else. Hux spent the past six years in England, washing every trace of Southern blood he possibly could from his skin with Oxford lessons and British pale ale. The little boy, freckled and eager to catch crawfish in the creek running through the edge of their property with his bare hands? That little boy was long gone.

He parked the truck and landed both feet in the mud, surveying the home with sunglass-shielded eyes. Then he tugged them down and looked over the building again.

It was a typical Southern plantation—massive, with white stucco sides, and a porch that wrapped perfectly around the entirety of the house on both levels. His mother had been poor, unable to maintain such an enormous house, and it showed in the decaying building.

“What a mess,” muttered Hux, frowning as he stared at the porch steps. They were clearly unsafe to walk on. “Let’s make this quick,” he steeled himself, one foot on the step before the sound of tires on the mud drive made him pause and turn.

And there he was—six years later and yet, exactly the same Ben Solo that Hux had loved his whole childhood. He could almost make out the same crooked teeth, crooked nose, messy hair, big-smiled little boy he’d befriended in kindergarten in the man that strode towards him with a heavy scowl.

“Ben,” he said in greeting, trying to maintain a brave face.

“What the fuck are you doing here,” Ben said unhappily, adjusting his belt as he stopped and surveyed the redhead, his truck, his looming house behind him.

“Sorting some things before I sell the house,” Hux said, scanning over Ben’s figure before he paused on the belt, looking back up at Ben in surprise. “You became the sheriff?”

“Old Pat Hodge passed away three years ago,” Ben said, still scowling. “I took over shortly after.”

“That’s a good fit for you,” Hux said with a nod, and Ben scoffed.

“I didn’t ask for your approval,” he said. Hux scratched the back of his neck, feeling highly uncomfortable, and Ben sighed.

“The house isn’t safe for you to just walk around in,” he said. “There’s a sign on the door…it’s been tested, and it failed every safety test.”

“I just need to sort Momma’s belongings,” Hux said, blinking abruptly when his accent slipped. Too many Southern accents were messing up the effect he had created so carefully. “I’m not planning on staying long.”

“I’m not letting you in the house by yourself,” Ben insisted, and it was Hux’s time to frown.

“I don’t see how that’s your decision to make,” he said and then sighed when Ben wiggled his badge at him. “Is this punishment somehow? Because this is not the best time to hash out your anger, Ben, my mom just died.”

“This isn’t punishment,” Ben said, very quietly. “I don’t want yo—anybody getting hurt by falling through a floorboard and breaking both legs. I was planning on coming up on the weekend and starting on the floors, making some repairs here and there. When I’m done, you can remove all your family treasures.”

“How long will all these repairs take?” Hux asked with a frown, and Ben shrugged.

“I won’t know until I look at the damage, but I’d assume a few weeks,” Ben said.

“Ben,” Hux said warily, and Ben watched him, dark eyes soft and patient, with that same righteous anger that Hux had always found so addicting to stare at.

“Well, you’re the boss,” Hux finally surrendered. “I’ll help you.”

Ben laughed, loud and from deep in his chest.

“You? Repair a floorboard? God save us all,” he said, and Hux’s cheeks flushed.

“I helped you that summer in junior year when you fixed your dad’s roof!” he argued, and Ben’s smile turned soft and pensive.

“Yeah, you did,” he said in a voice Hux hadn’t heard in _years_. His cheeks flushed at the implication, remembering that he had done little more than distract Ben that summer. They’d spent more time making out in the shade of Ben’s truck than actually doing anything, and any progress on the roof could only be attributed to Ben’s rushed but talented handiwork.

There was no way that Han didn’t know what they were up to, but he’d put on his all-knowing smile, slapped Ben on the back, and treated them out to Luke’s for dinner where he spent most of the night hanging halfway over the bar table to talk to Luke while he cooked in the next room over.

“Anyway,” Hux said, clearing his throat. “I guess I’ll head back to Luke’s then,” he said, gesturing with his head to the truck.

“Why?” asked Ben curiously, and Hux shrugged.

“Well, I was planning to sleep here, so I’ll use Luke’s spare cot until you say it’s okay to grab my stuff,” he said.

“Why—why don’t you stay with Mom?” Ben asked, and Hux laughed sharply.

“I’m sure your mom is interested in me staying with her—me, the guy that dumped her only son and disappeared for six years.”

“You know Mom,” Ben argued with a shrug. “She doesn’t think that way. And she loved your momma. She’ll want to see you again.”

“Yeah, okay,” whispered Hux, and Ben nodded decisively, turning and striding on long legs back to his truck.

“I’ll call her, let her know you’re on your way,” Ben called over his shoulder. And then he was disappearing down his driveway. Hux paused and glanced back at the house. Just ten years ago, he’d have seen his beautiful Momma standing there with a big smile on her face, apron stained with something she was probably jamming, and she’d pull him into her arms and kiss his face warmly—before ALS stole her away from him.

Leia hadn’t changed, at all, and Hux stared at her for longer than probably socially acceptable as she walked down the porch steps to greet him for dinner. Her greying hair was styled the same, she still wore a crisp pant suit from working as the town’s only judge, and she even wore the same lipstick color.

“Armie Hux, you look so grown up!” she said, squeezing him into her frame tightly. Her perfume was the same—same as his own Momma too, and Hux inhaled the scent greedily, letting himself relax into her grip. Leia had been amazing to him, and despite Ben’s issues with his family, Hux had always loved them as if they were his own.

“It’s so good to see you,” he said quietly, and Leia pulled back, sadness marring her face.

“I was at the funeral,” she said softly, and his surprise must have showed. “I didn’t want to say anything, be in the way somehow,” she said, sheepishness marring her pretty, aged features, and Hux laughed.

“Your family is the only one I have left, Leia,” he said. “I’m glad you were there,” he added, quieter. “She would have wanted you to be.”

“She was remarkable,” Leia said before she pulled back entirely as Rey shrieked from the doorway, practically flying down the steps to collide into Hux’s arms.

“You’re back! It’s been _years_ ,” she squealed, and Hux laughed, easily accepting her weight as she twisted her legs around his waist. “I can’t believe you didn’t come visit!” she began to babble incessantly, filling him in on six years of family news in approximately ten minutes. Hux listened and nodded and cheered at all the right parts, feeling warmth build in his chest as he let his childhood drift over him.

At dinner, Luke sat across from Han and Leia, Rey squishing her seat between his and Hux’s. The teenager chattered, having always been a talker, and Hux caught them up on his past six years.

“You sound so posh and European,” Han teased him, putting a fresh dollop of potatoes on Leia’s plate without her having to ask. “Dating anyone?”

Hux laughed. “No,” he said. “I work at an international law firm, and I must say, I haven’t the time for relationships.”

“You sound just like Ben,” Rey said with an easy laugh, and Luke’s eyes jumped to Hux, ready to intervene, but Hux tried to keep a smile on his face.

“So Ben’s the new sheriff,” he prompted, trying to get the attention off himself. “That seems like the perfect job for him.”

“It pretty much is,” Han said with a nod. “He was dragging along doing nothing, and this opportunity seemed to come out of nowhere. He’s busy, but he’s happier now.” Han stared at Hux carefully. “Are you okay with him working on the house? He’s been planning it for months. But if you’re not okay with it, he’ll back down.”

“No, I don’t mind,” Hux said, honestly. “I was a little surprised, but I have a few weeks off work, so I don’t care about sticking around town for a bit. It’s been a minute.”

“Six years is a long time to not even visit,” Rey said with a frown, earning herself a gentle warning shove from Luke, but her expression didn’t waver as she kept Hux’s gaze. Hux cracked another smile and reached over to squeeze his arm around her in a hug.

“That’s right, Rey, tell me off like the momma hen you are,” he said, and she shrieked as he began to tickle her sides.

The sun was sinking when Hux walked down the dirt road of his childhood home once more, having promised Leia he wouldn’t stay out too long. The rattlers tended to come out in the night, trying to catch the last warmth of the sun baked into the mud, so he watched where he walked as best he could. When he reached the porch, he ran a hand along the bannister, the tarnished wood on his fingertips stirring a memory.

" _I’m thinkin’ about helping Dad with his business,” a twelve-year-old Ben said thoughtfully, chewing on the tip of the honeysuckle blossom for the droplet of sweetness he knew would be there._

_"You mean drive around in his trucks?” Hux asked with a frown. “What about school?”_

_“During the summer, silly,” Ben shoved Hux’s shoulders with his overgrown foot before focusing on the night sky. “He said he’s taking a long-haul to California, and if Momma says go, I can tag along!”_

_"But…what about our plans? All the fishing and swimming and stuff that you’re gonna miss?” Hux asked, growing a little upset. He didn’t know summer without Ben by his side. Ben moved closer and slung an arm over his shoulder, resting his messy head on Hux’s shoulder._

_“We can do all that when I get back,” he promised. He held Hux’s hand, and Hux didn’t really understand why holding his hand felt so different than anyone else’s hands, but he didn’t focus on it._

_“I’ll miss you,” he said. “We can’t go too long without seeing each other, you know. I don’t like it.”_

_“I don’t either,” Ben said quietly._

Of course, Leia had _not_ said go, and Hux’s summer plans weren’t destroyed at all. And it wasn’t until Hux was fifteen that he finally understood why Ben was unlike anyone else he’d ever met. It took him four months to gather the courage to tell him, and as Hux trudged around the house to the back, he recollected how they’d been lying out on a blanket under the stars when a barely-teenager Hux had stumbled through explaining himself only for Ben to roll atop him, lean down, and kiss him with a calmness Hux had not possessed.

He sat on the bench under the willow tree, catching the brightness of the stars through the wisps of darkened green above him, and he remembered the feel of Ben’s skin against his as they explored each other for the first time, the tightness of Ben’s legs from where they wrapped around his waist.

“You weren’t at dinner,” he announced to the growing darkness, and he watched as Ben appeared from the shadow of the tree.

“It would be kind of weird, wouldn’t it?” Ben asked, standing and playing with the cattail in his hands, not meeting Hux’s gaze.

“It was weirder that you weren’t even at your own family dinner,” Hux said, glancing over at Ben. “If me being at your parents’ house makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stay at the motel.”

“We both know what goes down at that motel,” Ben said with a knowing stare. “You’d need a dose of penicillin before you got in the shower. No, I’m not uncomfortable, I’m just…trying to understand what’s going on.”

“I won’t stay long,” Hux said, and Ben laughed, a humorless sound.

“Yeah, you do tend to do that, don’t you,” he said sarcastically. “What did you say when you left last time? You wanted to…‘reconnect with your Dad’, but ‘don’t worry, baby, I’ll be back just in time to move into the dorms.’ Look how that turned out.”

“I loved London,” Hux said unapologetically. “And I loved my Dad—he was nothing like what Momma described him as. He was easy-going and interested in me, and I had never had that, Ben. I’d spent my whole life watching Han be your dad, and I needed one of my own. It was too tempting.”

“Why did you never tell me?” Ben said, voice still hard with anger. “I would have understood that. I would have been okay with a long-distance relationship. I didn’t mind shit like that.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Hux said with a shake of his head, and Ben hummed thoughtfully, tossing the grass over his shoulder.

“No, I understand perfectly,” he said. “Because you went to school and became all posh and cool and educated. And meanwhile, I went to community college for a vocational degree because I have never made any plans to leave this little town. And suddenly, I was the dumb boyfriend from Hick-Ville with the stupid accent and the stupid plans. And you were happy to leave that behind in the dark of your past.”

“Shut up,” Hux sneered, but his chest hurt because…Ben was right. That was exactly what he’d thought, the exact reason he had turned off the light in the basement of his childhood and shut the door tightly.

“Ya know what, forget it,” Ben said with a shake of his head, turning and striding away. His broad shoulders were tight, his tell-tale sign of angry resentment, and if this were six years ago, Hux would have run after him, tugged him into his arms, and kissed him until he was soft and pliant and loving under his touch.

But it wasn’t. It was today, right now, and Hux had no other option than to watch Ben Solo storm away.

“You’re selling the plantation?” Poe Dameron asked, voice and face mirroring his shock, when he ran into Hux at the grocery store. Hux nodded with a sheepish grimace.

“Yeah, I’ve got to get back home, and the place is just too much to maintain from overseas,” Hux said, and Poe shook his head disappointedly.

“Well, I’ll buy that place off you right now,” he said. “Finn and I just got married, you know? It’d be a great wedding present honestly.”

“What? Finn? Finn, who was dating Rosie in high school while you pined over him like a puppy? That Finn?” Hux asked delightfully, and Poe nodded with warm cheeks.

“I dazzled him with my charm, what can I say?” he asked, and Finn appeared at his side, holding two bags of flour. He kissed Poe’s grinning cheek before turning to Hux, moving in for a hug.

“More like, he confessed to me at the end of sophomore year with tears in those puppy eyes, and I dated him out of pity,” he teased, laughing at Poe’s indignant cry. “Hux, it’s great to see you again. I heard about your mom, the house…I’m so sorry.”

“We wanted to go to the funeral, but then we thought maybe that would have been weird,” Poe said quietly, and Hux forced the easy-going smile on his face.

“Not weird, but I appreciate you considering going,” he said. “Anyway, the house is going to an online auction. I’ll send you guys the info if you’d like it?”

Finn cast Poe a suspicious look, who shrugged in response. When Finn went to grab a carton of eggs, Poe energetically pulled out his phone and sent Hux his new contact number.

“It’ll be a surprise,” he said with a wink.

Hux smiled all the way out to his rental, but the smile faded when he looked up to see Ben leaning against the side of the truck, dressed in work clothes, smoking a cigarette and looking all tall and tanned and unfairly handsome.

“Come to chastise me some more?” he asked with faux cheeriness as he opened the backseat door and began to dump his grocery bags into the available space. Ben released a mouth full of smoke and shook his head.

“No, I’m going over to work on the house today, and I figured maybe you’d like to still help, since you mentioned something about that before,” he said. Hux hummed.

“Sure,” he said finally. “How did you find me?”

“You always shop on Saturday morning,” Ben said, and Hux paused, glad his sunglasses would at least dampen the look of surprise on his face. “You can run off to England or Mongolia or wherever the hell you want to, but you’re still Armie Hux. You can’t change that much.”

“I sure as hell can try,” Hux muttered.

“Armie,” Ben said quietly, and Hux glanced at him.

“Look, let’s get this straight before we start repairing the house, okay?” he said sharply, feeling his chest tighten. “First, don’t call me that. I go by Hux now. And second, let’s stop with the guilt trips down memory lane. We’re different people now, Ben, let’s just accept that.”

Ben was silent for a while, staring at Hux with dark eyes and pouty lips.

“Fair enough,” he said after a long silence. Then he turned and strode back to his truck, getting in and driving away without another backward glance. Hux released a breath he didn’t know he was holding and scrubbed a hand down his face anxiously.

Very quickly, Hux learned that repairing the floors enough for potential buyers to walk through the place was going to be quite the ordeal, but he silently took the offered hammer and got to work pulling up floorboards. The day passed by silently, until Ben pulled an ancient radio from the backseat of his truck and Brooks & Dunn bounced off the empty walls of the front hallway.

Day two and three passed much the same, but Hux started to feel more settled. His t-shirt clung to his skin as he worked under the hot sun, pale skin sizzling, but he didn’t mind the extra freckles when he could experience more sunshine and warmth that he had in six years of London rainy weather.

On day five, they’d made it into the kitchen, and it was there that the first really vivid memories began to smack Hux in the face. Mostly, they were memories of his momma, of her sweet smile and her contagious laughter and the smell of her homemade hushpuppies and fried chicken. There were memories of him and Ben too, both good ones and bad ones. They had their first real argument in this kitchen when they were six, when Hux didn’t want to share his crayons and Ben started crying so the adults would intervene. Their first relationship argument happened here too, when Ben turned seventeen and realized that every young woman this side of the Mason-Dixon line thought he was a heartthrob. He would flirt with anything that moved, it seemed. Hux had cried about it at first, then raged about it, and finally, he’d confronted Ben, shoving him roughly in the shoulders and yelling.

He’d accidentally said that he loved Ben that night. It had slipped out, but every ounce of anger seemed to just dissipate instantly when the words came out into the air. In the span of a breath, they were kissing desperately. It was the first time Ben got down on his knees, unbuttoning his jeans with shaky fingers, and guided Hux’s own pale fingers into his hair like a silent request. It was the first time that Hux was in charge, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Hux blinked when he realized that Ben was speaking, and by the frustrated look on Ben’s face, he’d been talking for a while.

“I said, do you want me to replace the molding over there since we’re already ripping up the floor in here?” Ben asked, pointing to the same wall that had featured in Hux’s memories, and Hux blinked slowly. It took him a long time before he finally cleared his throat and shook his head.

“No, we’re not doing full house repairs,” he said, “Just making it safe enough to sell.”

“Fair enough,” Ben said quietly, glancing over at the wall again. As if a light went off, he glanced back at Hux, who blushed and turned back away. He’d known what Hux had been thinking about.

“Ben told me you were done with the first floor,” Luke commented quietly, watching Hux play with his fries.

“Yeah, Ben is practically flying,” Hux said with a sharp laugh. “Two more floors, and it’s safe enough to put on the market, or so the safety inspector says. I’m not expecting it to take more than another week and a half.”

“You boys are moving fast,” Luke said, looking around for his coffee mug. He refilled it, but he caught Hux’s murmured response anyway.

“I don’t think it can be fast enough for Ben.”

“Now that’s not fair,” Luke said with a frown. “And you know it, Armie.”

“No,” Hux said, rubbing at his eye. His nose stung as he felt tears coming on, and he cleared his throat and bit a fry vindictively. “No, you’re right, it’s not fair. I left, not Ben.”

“He was crushed when you sent him that voicemail. He moped around here for months, almost took a plane to go get you back a few times, but he finally learned to respect your decision, and he moved on,” Luke said. “This is just as hard for Ben as it is for you, Armie, don’t forget that.”

“I left for lots of reasons, but none of them feel like the right one when I look back on it,” Hux said quietly. Luke laughed and patted his hand warmly.

“We all could say that when we’re looking at the past,” he said. “Just don’t let it shape your future, kid.”

“Look, I can finish this without you,” Ben said in greeting the next morning when Hux climbed up the front porch steps with two black coffees in Luke’s to-go cups. The sun was just peeking through the swaying branches of the weeping willow, all oranges and pinks, and Hux had felt contented and at peace with the world until five seconds ago.

“Sorry?” he asked, a frown playing at his lips. Ben took the cup and set it on the porch railing dismissively.

“I know you’re impatient to leave this hellhole, so I was thinking about it, and I’m cool with finishing this up without your help. As soon as I get the flooring done upstairs, we can pack up your momma’s stuff and send it to you.”

“Trying to get rid of me, Ben?” Hux said, voice growing cold as he stared at his ex-lover. Ben shrugged, pointedly not looking Hux in the face.

“I’m just offering you a way out.”

“And when did I ask for that, huh?” Hux asked, growing angry. “When did I ask you to find some lame fucking excuse to erase me out of this town, Ben? Because last time I checked, I show up here every morning and you spend the entire day ignoring me, silently brooding as you work. So don’t pretend, for even one goddamn second, that you know what I’m thinking or what I want, Benjamin Solo.”

The silence was short as Ben sniffed in response, examining the floorboards of the porch, before he nodded and looked up.

“I forgot your temper’s as fiery as that hair of yours,” he said, turning and grabbing the coffee before marching inside. “And I see you lose that stupid posh accent of yours when you’re pissed off,” he added over his shoulder. Hux huffed and shook his head to clear the anger, following the tall man inside.

“I’ve learned a few new tricks since you taught me how to hunt for crawdads,” Rey said with a bright laugh as she led Hux through the wood’s behind Luke’s place towards the creek, lugging her basket behind her.

“Well, color me surprised that you’ve turned into such a mighty crawdad hunter, since you were so _terrible_ at it last time we did this,” Hux teased, exchanging a wink with Luke as they traipsed behind her.

“Maybe you’re just a bad teacher,” Rey said carefully as she pulled out her netting and set to work building her traps. “Ben helped me a lot.”

“Ben’s always been better at crawdad-catching,” Hux agreed, wading into the water without care for his jeans and reaching for her first trap as he hunted for the perfect place to hide it.

“Speaking of Ben,” Rey said, glancing over at Luke to make sure he was still busy setting up their lunch spot. “Why’d you really leave, Hux?”

“I had this opportunity to meet my father,” Hux said, falling back on the age-old excuse. In his bent position, he could focus on laying the trap without worrying about facing Rey. “And when I went to London, I loved it so much that I figured I wouldn’t mind staying.”

“But why didn’t you and Ben stay together then?” Rey asked. Her unrelenting questions resembled Leia more than Luke, but Hux found it just as frustrating, even coupled with the pretty innocent face.

“It just didn’t work out,” he said, standing and accepting the second trap she handed him. He fiddled with the netting as he felt the lie turn to ash in his mouth, and he shook his head. “No, that’s not true,” he confessed, glancing up to see Rey still. “I guess I saw a path in life that would make my father proud of me for once, and I was so desperate for approval that I let myself change.”

“Change?” Rey asked, and Hux bent to lay the second trap (and to hide his flushed face).

“Yeah, change. My father hated the Southern world that I came from, said it made me look foolish and incapable of any real success. So I pushed everything away, really. I worked on my accent, I focused more on school, I left behind my old friends for new ones that would make me more popular and accepted. I grew…I dunno, Rey, I guess ashamed? Of my life?”

Rey was quiet, for a while. Luke fiddled with the lunch spot long enough that Hux knew he was doing it on purpose to give them privacy, and he was grateful for it. Maybe it was the childlike innocence and lack of judgement that young people had which made him feel comfortable to finally confess it, or maybe it was just Rey, but regardless, Hux felt lighter having finally said the real reasoning behind his leaving, his transformation.

“What happened to your dad?”

“He passed away, cancer, three years ago,” Hux said.

“What about now?” Rey asked, and Hux hummed questioningly as they lay their final two traps. “Are you still ashamed of us?”

“No,” Hux said, surprised at his own honesty.

“Why? What changed?”

Hux paused and glanced around them, at the sweltering heat that clung to his skin, even in early morning, at the trees that shielded them from view, at the creek filled with every kind of critter and snake and insect that he hadn’t thought about in six long years.

“I guess coming back here reminded me that this is my home,” he said with a shrug. “Come on, let’s go eat and wait,” he said, swinging an arm over her shoulder as they waded over to Luke once more.

“Since when did you start smoking again?” Leia scolded Ben, a scowl marring her aging face, as he slunk inside and tossed his dirty boots by the door.

“Phas likes it,” Ben said, and Leia scoffed at the words as her son moved over, pressing a kiss to her cheek in greeting, before stealing a slice of bread from her chopping board.

“Well, I don’t like Phas. Come on, honey, I thought you guys broke up,” she said, and Ben shrugged.

“We got back together.”

“Ben, she cheated on you!” Leia said, and Ben rolled his eyes.

“And then she apologized. Come on, Mom, let it go.”

“I don’t like when people hurt my family,” Leia said, setting down her knife to turn and face her much taller son.

“And yet you have no problem inviting Hux over for dinner every night,” Ben bit back harshly. Leia blinked, recognizing the tell-tale signs of her son’s hurt, and she pressed into him for a hug.

“Baby,” she said, uncharacteristically gentle, and Ben cleared his throat, even as he melted into her embrace. “Why don’t the two of you _talk_? You were so good together.”

“Oh come on, Momma,” Ben scoffed, pulling back and out of her arms completely to pace to the other side of the kitchen, running a large hand through his wild hair. “How about the fact that Hux left and if his momma didn’t die, he wouldn’t have ever come back here. How about the fact that he has never once shown any interest in me since he left and shut me out of his life faster than a blink? Or how about that I’m dating somebody else now? Will any of those excuses be good enough for you?”

“You’re back with Phas?” Han asked from the doorway, walking in slowly.

“Yeah, about five weeks,” Ben said, releasing a heavy sigh, and Han sat at the dinner table to open the mail with a low groan of pain as his arthritic knees started to act up.

“Shame,” he said. “I never liked that girl.”

“Oh come on,” muttered Ben, rolling his eyes and stomping to the door. “Forget it, I’m going to eat dinner at the bar.”

“No driving drunk, or I’ll have to call the sheriff—oh wait a minute,” Leia drawled lazily, and Ben finally cracked a laugh as the screen door shut behind him with a loud bang.

“That boy is gonna be the death of us,” she said, pointing with her knife in the direction her son had gone.

“You’re telling me” muttered Hux, eyes scanning the bill they’d received.

The truth was, Ben knew that getting back together with Phas was a bad idea, but like an addiction, he couldn’t stay away from her. There weren’t many people in a small town like this that were attracted to people like him…submissives, that’s what Phas had taught him. Nothing crazy or too wild. Phas had taken him to a BDSM club in Baton Rouge once, and Ben had actually fled outside when he’d caught sight of all the leather and chains and whips involved in the heavy stuff. No, he liked different stuff, and Phas was cool with it, _into it_ , and she was the only person he’d met besides Hux who was okay with him—tall and muscular and loud-mouthed—being quiet and still in the bedroom.

She was sitting at the bar when he got there, all tall and blonde and fierce tattoos, and she greeted him with a slow, red-lined smile as he approached the bar.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” she greeted him, pulling him in for a kiss, but Ben stiffened when he saw Hux sitting on the other side of the bar, drinking a beer and watching them. He moved his head, just a fraction, and her kiss landed on his cheek.

“Hey, Phas,” he muttered, ignoring her questioning smirk as he ordered a beer and burger.

“You okay?” she asked. “You’ve been dodging my calls all week.”

“Just busy working on Hux House, it’s cool,” he said, and Phas’ smile became more stiff and fake.

“Been working with your ex and ignoring my calls, and I’m supposed to just be cool about that?” she asked, leaning forward with a frown. Ben glanced over at Hux nervously, since she wasn’t trying to be quiet, and Hux was still watching them, sipping his beer slowly.

“Can we not do this here?” Ben asked, frustrated that they always had to fall back on arguments.

“Why? Afraid your ex is gonna hear?” Phas frowned heavier, leaning forward and putting a hand on his thigh, higher than socially acceptable. “Afraid he’s gonna think it’s cool for him to just show up and expect you to bend over at his say-so?”

A chair screeching against the floor distracted Ben, and he watched as Hux threw a few bills on the table and left without a backwards glance. He glared at Phas as he stood.

“That was so uncalled for, Phas,” he said as he ran after Hux.

“Armie, wait!” he called, watching Hux briskly retreat towards his car on long legs. “Please,” he added, jogging to catch up.

“How many times do I have to tell you, stop calling me that,” Hux said with a huff, not slowing down as he dug the keys from his pocket and turned the key into the lock of the door.

“I’m sorry about Phas,” Ben said. “That was so uncalled for, and I’m sorry.”

“Phasma has been a bully since we were in the third grade,” Hux said, keeping his eyes on his hands as the lock finally clicked. “What you talk about with your girlfriend is your business—though I must admit, I’m surprised you’re dating her to begin with.”

“What does that mean?” Ben asked, quiet, and Hux wouldn’t look up.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Forget I said anything.”

“No, talk to me, Ar—Hux,” Ben said.

Hux was silent for a long time, watching his own fingers fiddle with the car keys. But the quiet was comfortable, maybe for the first time since he’d stepped back on Southern soil days ago. Finally, he swallowed heavily and looked up at Ben’s face. He catalogued the dark sweeps of messy hair, the soulful eyes, the moles speckled across tan, imperfect skin. He glanced at full lips and remembered their taste, the way they felt against his skin. He swallowed again and finally met Ben’s gaze fully.

“Sometimes I remember the face you made when I left six years ago,” he murmured. “When you came to the airport and waved me off? It was the first summer we were away from each other, but your face when you watched me walk down that terminal…”

“What about it?” Ben asked, voice just as quiet. The world seemed to still around them, all noises and music and laughter hushing. Hux felt like the protagonist in the movie right before the dramatic conclusion, and the thought made him breathless somehow.

“You looked so hopeful,” he said. “I used to imagine what you were up to during all those years—what adventures you were having, who our friends were trying to set you up with, if you missed me or not.” Ben seemed surprised by his words, and he shrugged helplessly. “It got me through some rough times, remembering familiar things.”

“I _was_ hopeful, thinking about our future,” Ben said. Hux let the word simmer in the air between them for a minute.

“If I thought for one second that being with Phasma in there, living the life you live now, was making you happy? I would be happy _for_ you.”

“What are you saying?” Ben asked, his voice gravelly, and Hux sighed.

“You’ve lived your whole life fooling people, Ben, but you can’t fool me,” he said. Then he wrenched the door open and shut it just as fast.

Hux sipped his beer and leaned back against the porch steps, listening to the cicadas make their music. The humid air clung to his skin, but he was enjoying the dance of the lightning bugs down by the swampy trees at the bottom of the lane, and all that remained for him was to head back into town to Luke’s upstairs room and the uncomfortable cot there, so he wasn’t in a hurry.

“I hated you when you left,” Ben said quietly from behind him, having seemingly walked around the house from the back, and Hux didn’t respond, letting him sit down beside him. “I couldn’t understand how you could just ignore your childhood like that, just abandon us all without a second glance.” He inhaled from his cigarette, and Hux took it gently from his fingers, burying the butt in the damp soil and facing his ex-lover and -friend.

“And I decided when you came back that I was going to keep thinking that way,” Ben said. “Because you were horrible to me, and I’m angry at you still. But then I saw you, and it was like all that anger and hurt became less important somehow. Because at least, I knew you were okay. And I knew we could talk it out.”

Hux leaned in, stroked over Ben’s face, fingertips grazing over warm, flushed skin. Then he leaned in further, turning Ben into him for a kiss, taking his time.

_“Look at Ben,” shouted Poe over the party music, using his red Solo cup as a pointer, and Hux turned from the snack table of Rose’s parents’ basement party to catch a glimpse of his tall boyfriend—or maybe ex-boyfriend, if Ben’s words from their argument yesterday were meant seriously—standing in the doorway, his hair pulled back in a bun, but that wasn’t what Poe was referencing. And Hux could only stare at the way Ben had smeared makeup across his face with skill that only suggested someone had helped him._

_They caught each other’s eye, and Ben smirked with that perfect mouth, and somehow Hux blinked and they were making out in the bathroom, Ben’s lipstick smeared halfway across his face, and Hux’s hands were on his bare thighs where they wrapped around his hips._

_"Fuck, baby,” he moaned against Ben’s neck, grinding against him as he gave him a hickey with fierce determination. “I’m so hard right now, oh my god.”_

_“That was the point,” Ben panted, face turned to the ceiling as he perched on the sink ledge. Then he wrenched Hux backwards. “If we have to fight like we did yesterday again, I’m serious, I’ll leave you faster than you could ever apologize, got it?”_

_"Yeah, baby, I got it,” Hux whispered, leaning in and kissing him desperately._

Hux registered Ben pulling away from him just as his memory faded, and he grunted in displeasure, trying to pull the taller man back into his embrace, but Ben wasn’t far, dark eyes focused on his mouth.

“I want you to fuck me,” he said breathlessly, and Hux nodded without thought.

“Whatever you want, Ben,” he responded, standing, and Ben stopped him, face turned up as his hands landed on Hux’s wrists to halt him.

“Baby,” he said. “Call me baby.”

“Fuck, _yes_ ,” Hux groaned, tugging Ben up and walking him backwards into the house, already attached to his mouth again.

Ben left before the warblers could start singing, and he ran a hand through his greasy hair to pull it back as he started the engine and pulled out of Hux House’s long driveway. He was unsure what he really should be doing in this situation. He didn’t regret what they’d done, not really. Hux was always able to know exactly what he needed without him ever having to ask. He’d taken him against the counters, fingers digging into his hips as Ben hung on for dear life, and Hux had bitten into his shoulder as he came, which was always enough for Ben to start shaking.

Ben squirmed in the seat as he pushed the highly arousing images from his mind and focused on driving back to his apartment, knowing he needed a shower before he headed into the station. They hadn’t really talked much, not about important things. Hux had tried, bless him, but suddenly, Ben didn’t want to talk it out. He knew what Hux would be confessing—it wasn’t exactly rocket science to figure it out. And it was far more pleasant to straddle his hips and ride him until Hux turned all breathless and groaning, so that’s what Ben had done.

Phasma was waiting when Ben pulled up to his building, and he swallowed a curse Han wouldn’t have approved of as he parked and cut the engine. She would know, and as much as they fought and played their on-again-off-again game, he cared for her.

“Listen, I don’t need to hear the big confession,” she greeted him. “I can tell, being as I am, in fact, not an idiot. I just want to know one thing.” She waited until he was finally looking up at her, taking in her angry stance, one hand on her hip, one hand pointing in his direction. “Do you want to try again?”

“With you?” Ben asked, and Phasma laughed softly, angry scowl finally cracking into a warm smile, an affectionate smile.

“No, honey,” she said. “With Armie.”

Ben sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know,” he said, and Phas shook her head.

“I don’t believe that,” she said.

“Neither do I,” Ben responded quietly. “But ya know, I think I’m going to stick with that answer for a while.”

Meanwhile, Hux was back at the house, a hand lying on the cold spot where Ben had slept beside him. The warblers sang through the broken glass of one of the windows, and he sighed, checking his phone before getting up. He threw on some pants, slid his feet in some shoes, and then grabbed an empty cardboard box, heading down the hallway to start taking down his mother’s belongings on the first floor.

The pictures in the hallway were the first to come down, and Hux wiped years of dust from the frames, pausing to look over each picture’s subject. Many were of his momma as a child, with siblings who had died of various illnesses or accidents before Hux was even born. All were redheads, all looking remarkably similar to Hux. Slowly, the pictures merged to become images of Hux as a baby, a toddler, a contestant in the local high school talent show with a sheepish Poe and Finn on either side of him. One of Hux and Ben was in a simple wooden frame but was clearly well-loved from its position in the hallway. Ben, despite being the taller of the two, sat on Hux’s lap, an arm slung over his shoulders, laughing with his whole body at something.

Hux set it gently in the box and glanced down the now empty hallway, startling when he caught Han standing in the open door.

“You scared me, Han!” he said, and Han shrugged in apology, stepping inside.

“Listen, kid,” he started, and Hux pointed at a box.

“If you’re here for one of your dad talks, help me out, wouldya?”

He loved Han. Loved him like he loved his momma. Han and Leia had been parents to him since he was old enough to comprehend their special bond. He loved the pep talks, unlike Ben, and he loved the dad talks, but he knew that this one, more than any other one before, was going to hit home more. This one was going to hurt.

“Are you sure you’re doing the right thing here?” Han asked as they cleared pictures, old plant pots, and small treasures that his momma had collected over her life. She had loved nature like nobody else Hux had met, and the little shells, plant pods, and lost feathers that were tucked among her bookshelves in the library made Hux smile with each new discovery.

“You mean selling the house?” Hux asked, and Han hesitated before shaking his head no.

“I mean Ben,” and Hux paused, playing with a shell before facing Han. “I know that being back here has been hard for you both. And I’m just…not sure that it’s a hardship that’s necessary, ya know?”

“You think I should go home?” Hux asked. “Leave it all here and just leave.”

“I don’t think that you should be ashamed somehow for leaving this,” Han said. “I feel like you’re here out of some kind of obligation, but your mama would never have wanted that. She was a free spirit. Obligation wasn’t her thing, you know that. And watching you and Ben try to smile politely at each other when things ended so badly for you both? I hate it, and I know your mama would have to.”

“You’re right,” Hux said after a minute. Even in the heat of their night, there had been a tension between them that he could practically taste in the back of his mouth, a tight awkwardness that clung on stubbornly. “She’d have hated me being here like this. And I know things have been weird with me and Ben.”

“Understatement of the year,” Han said with one of his legendary half-smiles that Hux loved. Hux couldn’t help his laugh, and he nodded.

“Yeah, true,” he said. Han moved a little closer, resting a hand on Hux’s shoulder for an affectionate pat.

“All I’m saying is that the obligation isn’t necessary. If you want to leave tomorrow and go home? Do it. No one will be upset with you.”

Hux nodded, a sudden memory of long fingers digging desperately into his biceps flashing before he blinked and pushed it back.

“Thanks, Han,” he whispered. “I think you might be right.”

“I missed ya, kid,” Han said quietly, slapping him on the shoulder again before turning. “I’ll see ya…or maybe, I won’t. In which case, good luck.”

Ben was drunk. Completely, utterly drunk. So drunk in fact that he couldn’t quite make out the blurry drink before him on the bar table.

“Hey there, Sheriff, what’s up with you?” Poe asked, slapping an arm around Ben’s shoulder in greeting. “You’re completely pissed, aren’t you?” He was laughing, but Ben couldn’t find any laughter to join in.

“There’s something wrong with me, isn’t there?” he asked tearfully, and Poe began to vehemently shake his head.

“C’mon, man, why are you always such a sad drunk? Hey sweetie! Sweetie? Come here, talk to Ben, you know I can’t do crying.”

“Unless it’s you, crying during sex,” came a dry response, and Finn’s face blurred across Ben’s swirling vision. “Ben, what’s going on?” his voice softened, and Ben tried to reach for his glass, but he overreached, and the glass tipped, spilling bourbon across the table.

“Ben, go home,” the bartender said firmly, taking the glass and wiping the spill clean. “You’re done, brother.”

“But I’m not done with my drink,” Ben slurred, and Poe gripped his shoulders tightly as he helped his stand.

“Come on, you can sleep it off on our couch, you crazy idiot,” he said affectionately, and the two men carefully maneuvered him out the door and towards their truck.

It was not even seven when Hux swung by Luke’s, and the sun hadn’t been up very long. Luke was giving Rey her morning pep talk as he made her lunch for school, and Rey was affectionately nodding along, her bright smile blasting Hux in the face when she noticed him standing there.

“You look like shit,” she said in happy greeting, earning herself a slap on the shoulder from Luke.

“Language,” Luke said. “Go grab your backpack before the bus gets here, kid.” He waited for her to leave the room before he frowned at Hux. “You look like shit.”

“I haven’t slept well for a few days,” Hux said with a shrug. “Listen, I got a plane seat with my name on it at noon, but I wanted to say adieu before I go.”

“You’re leaving?” Luke asked, surprise marring his face. “But the house…”

“Han stopped by, gave me a pep talk about unnecessary obligation, and as usual, I agree with him,” Hux said. Luke’s frown deepened, and Hux shrugged. “I originally only intended to stay a day or two. It’s been almost three weeks. I made my peace, said goodbye to Momma. I have nothing keeping me here.”

“As long as you can believe that,” Luke said dryly, and Hux laughed softly.

“Thanks for all your help,” he said quietly. “I never thanked you for the letters, the care packages…I hope you know how much that meant to me.”

“Just know that you _always_ have a home here if you want it,” Luke said, blue eyes serious, fixing Hux to his spot. When Rey came back in, Luke blinked. “Let me at least grab you some coffee to go,” he disappeared in the back.

“You’re going, and Luke told me I had to be chill about it when you announced it, but I just want you to know that if you wait another six years before you come visit me again, I’m hopping a plane and showing up on your doorstep,” Rey said with all the seriousness of a teenager.

“Yes ma’am,” Hux nodded, taking the travel cup gratefully. On his drive out of town, he passed Poe carrying an armful of groceries, and he waved farewell to him through the window with a warm smile. It felt different, leaving this time. Last time, he’d planned to come back—London was only supposed to be a summer vacation. Now, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t be returning.

“For your hangover,” Finn handed him a cup of something that looked like orange juice but definitely was _not_ orange juice. Ben choked it down, face scrunched in disgust.

“That was repulsive,” he said in thanks, and Finn nodded with a smirk.

“Yeah, it is rather, isn’t it?” he said, handing Ben a plate of toast. “Poe is getting groceries since we only have bread in the house right now. And while he’s out, you’re going to say what in the world possessed you to go get entirely shit-faced last night.”

“I don’t know, man, it’s probably just my depression acting up,” Ben said, shoving half the slice of toast into his mouth. Finn looked unimpressed.

“You said that something was wrong with you last night,” Finn said. “And being as I saw Phasma making out with some idiot downtown last night, I’m assuming you’ve broken up. Is it about her? Because out of the two of you, you’re more normal…which is saying something, really, and I would have thought that _she_ would be the one dramatically getting pissed in a bar, not you.”

“Thanks a lot,” mumbled Ben, sucking butter from his thumb and reaching for his second piece. “But no, it’s not about Phasma. Although yeah, we did break up.”

“So who are you pining over, because in case you haven’t looked in a mirror recently, you’re not half bad looking and I’m sure…” Finn trailed off, and Ben finally looked up from playing with his crust. “It’s Armie. That’s who we’re pining over?! Benjamin.”

“What?” Ben asked indignantly, frowning. “It’s not like this is news.”

“I can dream somehow you move on, or even better, get back together with the man so your crazy drama goes away,” Finn said. “Ever thought that maybe Poe and I want to have some crazy drama? Maybe _we_ want to be the protagonist for once.”

“You’re crazy,” Ben said, scrubbing hands over his face tiredly.

“Guess who I just saw driving out of town for the airport?” Poe shouted in greeting as he walked inside, slamming the door of their apartment shut with his boot. He wasn’t interested in possible answers since he jumped right in with the answer. “Armie! Crazy bastard is leaving again evidently.”

“I guess you moving on _is_ what I should be dreaming about now,” Finn said to Ben quietly, seeing how the man’s face crumpled at Poe’s words.

“I love that man, but he has this bad habit of leaving without telling anybody,” Poe announced, appearing in the doorway with a carton of milk, which he took a swig of straight from the container. Finn stared at him for a minute before shaking his head.

“Damn, I caught a good one,” he teased as he stood. When he passed Poe, he kissed him gently in greeting. “Come on, I’ll make omelets, since Ben looks starved. It’s like those two pieces of toast were cracker-sized,” he grumbled as he disappeared into the kitchen.

Ben made it through breakfast pretending to be cool with the news. Then he made it through most of the afternoon at work, catching up on the weekend paperwork, checking in on his small team, and smiling patiently as his secretary flirted shamelessly with him. He drove to Leia’s for dinner on autopilot, teased Rey by swinging her over his shoulder and dumping her in the pool before they ate and listened to Leia complain about her job and the new intern she’d hired that was clearly an idiot, making sure to nod, smile, and laugh at all the right moments. And then he sat on the back porch, lit a cigarette, and considered what he should do with the knowledge that he would most likely never see Hux again and once again, Hux had left, this time without saying goodbye to him.

“I told him to leave,” Han said from the screen door, and Ben’s drag of the cigarette was longer as he collected his thoughts.

“Good,” he said, the bitter smoke clinging to his lips and easing the tension in his chest. “He was unhappy here.”

“He was,” Han said quietly before moving to sit down by Ben. “Look, I know that I irritate you, and I don’t like that we’re not close anymore, but I have something that I’ve just gotta say, and I want you to listen to me.”

Ben watched him suspiciously, inhaling again, though he was careful to blow the smoke away from his dad, knowing how much he hated the smell.

“What’s up?” he finally said when he realized Han was waiting for his go-ahead.

“The last few weeks, you’ve acted like you did when you were sixteen, right before you got super sick,” Han said hesitantly. Even after all those years, he still struggled to admit that Ben had battled anxiety and severe depression as a teenager, and his awkward wording only mirrored that struggle. “I’m worried about you,” he finally said, and Ben rubbed his cigarette butt against the porch step, running a hand through his hair as he turned to face his dad.

“I am struggling,” he said honestly. “I’m unhappy, and getting back with Phas wasn’t good for me, I realize that now,” he added. “But I’m going to be better this time. I realize the warning signs, and I’m working on it. It won’t get as bad as it did back then, I promise.”

“Just know that your mother and I…we’re here for you,” Han said, hesitantly sliding his arm around Ben’s shoulders, bringing him in for a side-hug.

“Last call for Heathrow, Flight 59-C,” the overhead voice pulled Hux from his daydreams, and he gripped his bag, standing from the uncomfortable chairs and taking a few steps towards the gate.

_“I guess this is goodbye, for now,” a seventeen-year-old Ben said, standing there in overalls and dirty work boots, hair a mess around his face._

_“It’s just a few weeks, then I’ll be back,” Hux promised, sliding into his arms and reaching around his neck to pull him down for a long kiss, taking his time to catalogue everything about his boyfriend. “Promise,” he whispered when he pulled back._

_"You better,” Ben grumbled, but his face was flushed, and his warm eyes seemed happy and light. “When you get back, you better bring me something good.”_

_“Only the best for you, baby,” Hux murmured, kissing him again, shorter this time. “And then we’ll terrorize the college campus for the next four years, you and me.”_

_“Can’t fucking wait,” teased Ben, smile wide and happy and hopeful, and Hux loved him fiercely in that minute. He pulled back finally, accepting one last hug from his momma, from Leia and Luke who had come to wave him off._

“Sir?” a voice broke his daydream, and Hux blinked in the face of the concerned flight attendant. “Are you boarding Flight 59-C?”

Hux inhaled, exhaled.

“No,” he said. “Sorry, I’m at the wrong gate.”

“Would you like some direction,” the polite woman started, friendly smile on her face, but Hux was already walking away, still gripping his ticket with tight, white fingers.

He drove to Leia’s with sweaty palms. He couldn’t go back to that dark house, alone, not without seeing Ben first. He felt like his chest was going to explode if he didn’t get the words off his chest. He parked haphazardly behind Han’s work truck, took the stairs two at a time, and knocked on the front door with more force than strictly necessary.

Leia answered the door, a surprised half-smile on her face, and she stepped back when she saw how anxious and out of breath he seemed.

“Armie, you okay?” she asked quietly, and Hux felt tunnel vision when he looked past the sea of confused faces of his almost-family to Ben, who had clearly just come from outside.

“Can I talk to you?” he asked breathlessly, and Ben nodded, walking past everybody with a concerned frown on his face. Nobody moved, and Hux didn’t even care. Ben hadn’t even cleared the crowd of family before the words were tumbling out of Hux’s mouth.

“I love you,” he said, the words exploding, and he didn’t even wait for Ben’s reaction before continuing. “I always have loved you, since we were kids and you stole the crayons and cried about it, but I…I forgot it. I forgot I loved you, and I know that doesn’t make sense, but it’s true, because I’ve spent six years living this dream life, but it wasn’t _my_ dream. It wasn’t my dream, Ben, because when I close my eyes, I see you and me, and it doesn’t matter where we are, what we’re doing, because we’re _together_. Because I fucking _love you_ , Benjamin. And I want you to call me Armie, and fight with me, and fish for crawdads with me, and I want us to fix up that old, dilapidated house together and live in it _together_ until we’re those two old, grouchy gay men that kids are afraid to ask for candy from on Halloween.”

Leia was crying, and Han had his proud dad smile going on. Rey looked a bit disgusted by the speech, but all Hux’s focus was on Ben, so it didn’t even matter. All that mattered was the shocked expression on Ben’s face as Hux poured his heart out to him.

“So what do you say?” Hux asked after taking a long, shaky breath.

“If we’re going to fix up that house, you need some lessons in how to lay floorboards properly, because you suck at it,” Ben said, very quietly, after a long pause, and Hux cracked a smile, the tension easing in his chest.

“Really?” he asked, and Ben nodded, a smile cracking out across his face, and he hesitantly slid into Hux’s waiting arms, letting their noses brush a little.

“Yeah, really,” he said, not ashamed at all to kiss his love in front of his family.

“I’m so glad you pulled your head out of your ass,” Luke said with a happy grin. “Come on, let’s go eat some pie and celebrate,” he said, ushering everyone into the dining room again.

“I thought you were leaving,” Ben murmured, not moving from Hux’s embrace, pressing his face to every part of Hux’s face and neck he could.

“I was,” Hux replied, fingers tangling in Ben’s hair to angle his face better for a kiss, more tongue and desperation than their public one had displayed. “But I couldn’t do it, Ben. I couldn’t run away again, I just couldn’t do it.”

“I love you,” Ben said shakily, trying to get even closer, a near impossibility.

“I love you so much,” Hux’s hands slid around his waist, up his back, back into his hair. Then he pulled back. “Come on, let’s get pie. We’ll talk more later.”

_Two years later_

“I’m sure he’s having an affair,” Poe sniffled as he sat on the couch, holding an orange juice in one hand and a box of tissues in the other. Hux sat opposite him, dressed in a bathrobe, his red bedhead rather boyish-looking as he blinked sleep from his eyes.

“I think we’ve both known Finn long enough to know he’s definitely not the cheating type,” he said around a yawn. “C’mon Poe, you guys have been together forever. Finn loves you.”

“But this new business partner of his,” Poe said with a shake of his head. “You didn’t see them, their chemistry together.”

“Who cares about their chemistry?” Hux asked with a frown, but he was interrupted by the front door opening and shutting with a bang, before Ben appeared, dressed in a pair of Levi jeans and a near see-through white t-shirt that couldn’t even hide his dark nipples. He was all warm tan and Southern sunshine, and Hux felt a little burst of affection in his chest at the site of him.

“Finn’s called three times, buddy,” Ben said, bending to kiss Hux warmly on the mouth. “He doesn’t understand what’s going on, but he’s really confused right now, and I think he’s starting to get upset.”

“But you didn’t _see_ them,” Poe tried to insist, and Ben shrugged, flopping on the couch next to him, stealing a tissue to blow his nose loudly.

“I don’t need to,” he said. “Because I know that idiot loves you just as much as you love him. And that’s all you need to work this out together. So go talk to your husband, because this is my only day off this week, and my own husband looks sexy right now.”

“TMI,” Poe said, standing and downing the orange juice, heading out the door with a last mournful farewell.

“Did I ever sound like that when I was sitting on their couch all those times, I wonder?” Ben mused aloud, and Hux laughed, shrugging.

“Where were you this morning? I woke up alone,” he said, leaning back in his chair, watching Ben shed his boots and socks, wiggling his long, gangly toes.

“Got a call about the old Boyer homestead,” he said, standing upright and unbuttoning his Levi’s. Hux watched him with a knowing smirk as he tugged his jeans down, unashamed that he didn’t have boxers on, and then swung his naked body into Hux’s lap, leaning in for a long, dirty kiss.

“Clearly it didn’t turn out to be anything serious,” Hux murmured, leaning back and watching as Ben’s shirt landed by his jeans, his own pale fingers gliding up warm, tanned skin to appreciate the bulges of muscle here, a pert nipple there. He leaned up and aggressively kissed Ben then, feeling strong fingers undo the knot of his bathrobe and push it off his freckled shoulders.

“Two kids making out, no big deal,” Ben mumbled, letting his head fall back so Hux’s appreciative mouth could wander over his neck. “I was thinking about when we used to go out there, lay in that big old glass greenhouse?”

“So sexy,” Hux teased his younger self, fingers dipping down Ben’s backbone, past the dimples in his back, down, down, until Ben’s breath caught in his throat, and he moaned.

“I love you,” he murmured, and Hux smiled, looking up at his husband, his dark hair falling around his face, and kissed him again, taking his time to lick into his mouth, greedy for his taste. “Now get to it,” Ben said. “I’ve been thinking about this all morning,” he said, feeling how Hux’s fingers had stilled just above where he wanted them. “Or else I’ll have to do it myself, like usual,” he teased, and Hux laughed brightly, leaning back and crossing his fingers behind his head.

“That’s an offer I can’t turn down,” he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “Show me, baby.”

Ben laughed against his mouth, hands disappearing in red, messy hair, and the two reclined against the worn chair in their worn house, finally together.

**_Finis_ **

**Author's Note:**

> And there we have it! Comments, kudos, new story suggestions...all are appreciated, thank you!
> 
> <3, Honey


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